Life is really a roller coaster ride. It consists of ups and downs. However, we must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. This insightful article explains this fact quite well, Ma’sha’Allah.
Don’t die, it’s not the worst
4 Ways to Gain Strength from a Struggle
I couldn’t agree more…
Tough times bring out a stronger, more confident, more resilient you, Alhamdulillah…
A Suprisingly Effective Alternative to Punishment
“Is punishment always the best option to discipline a child?” the age-old question. Well, I personally do not feel it is the best option always because it leads to feelings of resentment and hatred in a child.
The article below is worth a read by Bright Muslimah moms and moms-to-be, In’sha’Allah, as it gives a lot of insight into this topic.
Lower Your Gaze
By Bright Muslimah
Immodesty and indecency have become so widespread in today’s world that supposedly “practicing” brothers and sisters have also started falling into this trap. What was once considered shamelessness is now considered normal. Recently a pious practicing sister sought advice about whether or not she should break her engagement because her fiancé had the habit of liking the pictures and commenting on the looks of women to whom he was not a mahram. Then another sister, who was married, came complaining about how she was fed up of this very same habit of her husband. It was only then that I realised how widespread and deep-rooted this problem was in our society.
There is a lot of shamelessness prevalent these days and social media is one of the leading causes of it. In the past, people would take pictures of themselves but would store them in their albums at home, or in their laptops or mobiles. But now they can be instantly shared on the internet using the different types of social media. But the brothers are not alone to blame for this phenomenon, the sisters are equally involved. If there were no pictures to look at it, what would men stare at? Here in lies the cause of many failing and troubled marriages.
A man who is so used to staring and looking at other women, to whom he is not a mahram, often starts comparing his wife with these women and quickly becomes dissatisfied with his wife no matter how beautiful she may be. This is because Satan (Shaitaan) always makes the haram seem more attractive than the halal. I would advise sisters not to marry such men because such habits are hard to change. At the same time, I would like to ask the sisters, would you like to be held responsible on the Day of Judgement for the breakdown of another Muslim sister’s marriage, because of something you were not supposed to do?
Sisters who share their pictures on Facebook also get addicted to doing so because they get a high each time anyone likes or comments on their pictures, whether male or female. She gets so used to this that she is not in the least bit stirred nor does she feel uneasy by all sorts of comments made by men, even though in the real world it would be considered immodest. In fact, the soul of a modest woman would actually be shaken if a non-mahram looks at her and praises her beauty, when she’d rather hear that from her husband or her mahrams.
What brothers and sisters actually don’t know is that just by liking and commenting, they are unintentionally encouraging a sister to post more pictures of herself. In this way, each person may also get the sin of the sister who is not wearing hijab and exposing what she is supposed to be covering, as they encouraged her instead of advising her to stop. May Allah keep us safe from accumulating sins which we are unaware of. Ameen
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever initiates a good practice in Islam and is emulated by others in doing so will get the reward of it and the reward of all those who act upon it without their rewards being diminished in any respect. And whosoever initiates an evil practice in Islam and is emulated by others will bear the sin of it and the sin of all those who act on it without their burden being diminished in the least. ” [Sahih Muslim]
How strange is it that some men keep their wives and sisters hidden behind the hijab but at the same time they go around staring, commenting, etc. on the pictures of women who are strangers to them? Such men should ask themselves, would they like it if another man would do the same with their wife’s or sister’s picture? If they had gheerah, they wouldn’t tolerate such a thing. Only a man who has no gheerah (protective jealousy) would allow other men to stare at his wife, daughter, sister or mother. It is said in a hadith that a “dayooth” will not enter Jannah.
Abdullaah ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Three people will not enter paradise, and Allaah will not look to them on the Day of Judgement: the one who is disobedient to his parents, the woman who imitates men and the ad-Dayooth.” (Ahmad) [Ad-Dayooth is the man who permits women for whom he is responsible (eg. mother, wife, sister etc.) to engage in illicit relations, or to display their beauty to strange men, thereby stimulating their sexual desires.]
Islam prohibits free mingling of men and women, but on Facebook you can see this happening all around. Young men and women giggling and exchanging jokes, brothers and sisters commenting on each other’s pictures by saying Ma’sha’Allah. Someone rightly said, that this is like saying Bismillah before eating pork. Practicing doesn’t only mean- praying salah, fasting and keeping beards or wearing the hijab- but one must also be able to control their nafs and lower their gaze from looking at forbidden things and from doing forbidden actions even when alone, because whether or not anyone is there, Allah is always watching us.
It is really beyond my comprehension why Muslim men of today think just because women are freely exposing themselves more than as compared to in the past, that they have the ticket to stare at them. Well, two wrongs never made a right, and just because someone isn’t covering their aurah, doesn’t give another person the right to stare at it. Allah first commands the men to lower their gaze, and then the women in Surah An-Noor (24), Ayahs 30 and 31 of the Quran. But sadly, it is not practiced by both. We have men comparing their wives to actresses and women comparing their husbands to actors. How can an Islamic society thrive if all such things continue to prevail?
At the same time, women who take the issue of Hijab lightly have to face their Lord one day. Covering is an obligation in Islam and not a choice as many Muslim sisters presume. The commandment of covering is mentioned in the Quran in Surah An-Noor (24), Ayah 31:
“And say to the believing women that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts and do not display their ornaments except what appears thereof, and let them wear their head-coverings over their bosoms, and not display their ornaments except to their husbands or their fathers, or the fathers of their husbands, or their sons, or the sons of their husbands, or their brothers, or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their women, or those whom their right hands possess, or the male servants not having need (of women), or the children who have not attained knowledge of what is hidden of women; and let them not strike their feet so that what they hide of their ornaments may be known; and turn to Allah all of you, O believers! so that you may be successful.” [Quran]
Hijab includes but is not excluded to covering alone. It also includes one’s conduct and interaction with the opposite gender. Unfortunately, a number of Muslim sisters cover themselves with the proper hijab, but then at the same time, they are seen laughing and joking around with brothers who are their non-mahrams. This goes totally against the concept of Hijab. Similarly, some women tightly wrap their heads in headscarves, but leave their necks uncovered, or while still others are seen in tight jeans or leggings. Wearing tight clothes in front of non-mahrams is not correct. My dear sisters, how can this be hijab when you are not concealing your figure but rather contouring it?
Please read about the hijab and its rulings and look inside your heart and find out your true intention behind wearing the hijab. If it is done to please Allah then it must be done in the way pleasing and acceptable to Allah and not deplorable to Him. I would like to leave you with some hadith to ponder upon.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are two types of the people of Hell that I have not seen yet: men with whips like the tails of cattle, with which they strike the people, and women who are clothed yet naked, walking with an enticing gait, with something on their heads that looks like the humps of camels, leaning to one side. They will never enter Paradise or even smell its fragrance, although its fragrance can be detected from such and such a distance.” (Narrated by Ahmad and by Muslim).
Also, Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Modesty brings nothing but good.” [Sahih Bukhari]
May Allah grant us the guidance to follow and implement the correct teachings of Islam in our life and keep us steadfast on the Deen. Ameen
A Non-Muslim’s views on Beards
Ma sha Allah… such wisdom in his words.
May Allah guide him to the truth.
He knows shaving the beard for men in Islam is sinful but unfortunately many Muslim men still don’t or purposely choose to ignore it.
Here is the link on Vimeo, for those who can’t access YouTube.
And ye shall seek gadgets, and gadgets shall make you free.
An eye-opening article for the parents of this generation! It exposes a sad reality of the current times… Please do read…
No, these are not the lines from any Biblical document. It’s something more sacred to our lives nowadays. Today’s saga is about technology and gadgets and how they have taken over our lives. Some say in a good way and say otherwise, but still we have to respect the size of impact. Few months back I went to some of my relatives, in fact a cousin sister. She is happily married with a loving husband and two adorable kids. As I went to their home, I was expecting it to be an old fashion get-together with me entering the door and the kids running to hug their loving uncle, dangling all around my neck and going crazy to open the chocolates and comics I brought for them. Sadly, the scenario was not quite warm as per my perception.
Door being open, I entered the house, for a second…
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Life is beautiful
By Bright Muslimah
Life is beautiful when you accept Allah’s decree.
Life is beautiful when you work hard for what you want to achieve.
Life is beautiful when you bring happiness to other people’s lives.
Life is beautiful when you are considerate to others.
Life is beautiful when we repent to Allah after we sin.
Life is beautiful when you listen to the birds praise Allah at the break of dawn.
Life is beautiful when you appreciate the complexity of nature.
Life is beautiful when you listen to others who want to share their enthusiasm with the world.
Life is beautiful when you uplift the dying spirits of a person and see them transform into a motivated and cheerful individual before your very eyes.
In the end, life is what you make of it… It can be beautiful or ugly, it all depends on the choice you make.
10 Valuable Life Lessons
By Bright Muslimah
I’ve been away too long and decided it was time to make a post. After thinking for some time, I decided to write on some of the valuable lessons I have gained from my experiences in life and from those of others. I am sharing them below for the benefit of Bright Muslimah readers. I hope you will find them beneficial, In’sha’Allah.
1. Follow your dreams.
No matter what it is that you want to achieve in life, if it’s a dream you hold dear to your heart, then put your heart and mind to it, and you will be able to achieve it, In’sha’Allah. Never forget to consistently make dua for it with firm belief, especially at the times of acceptance like — between azaan and iqamah, after fardh salah, etc. and ask Allah to grant it to you if there is khair in it.
2. Never give up on life and others.
There has been a consistent increase in the number of people committing suicides which is a very sorry state of affairs. Suicide is haram and Allah has forbidden paradise for the one who commits it. In a hadith, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “A man was inflicted with wounds and he committed suicide, and so Allah said: My slave has caused death on himself hurriedly, so I forbid Paradise for him.” [Bukhari]
Allah has created all of us with different abilities, and varying levels of patience and tolerance, and so He tests us accordingly only and doesn’t test all of us in the same way. We must always remember this and consistently make dua to Allah for a solution to our problems instead of giving up on life.
Allah has revealed in the last verse of Surah Al Baqarah, “Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope.” [Quran 2:286]
In the same way, always give people a second chance and do not give up on them so easily. There is good in every person. If you considered someone to be good, but that person lets you down, give them a second chance. Don’t dismiss them completely on account of their flaw. Humans are prone to error. Try to overlook and forgive them. Only Allah is perfect, everyone else is prone to error. Gentle reminders and dua is what they need.
3. Believe in Yourself.
Read up on matters that are important to you and make informed decisions. Trust the choices you make, believe in yourself. Don’t be the one to question yourself after making a decision. Think out the pros and cons before making a decision, consult other knowledgeable people, then make a decision and then stick to it. Have confidence in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will. Trust me on that.
4. Don’t let others poison your heart and life.
If there is someone you hold dear to your heart, don’t let what other people say about that person affect you. There will be people around you ready to poison and plant hatred in your heart against someone you like. But never make the mistake of judging a person based on another’s opinion.
There are some wives who relate the problems they are having with their husband to other women. These other women might not know the exact scenario because they only hear the wife’s side of the story, and they might say something accordingly to sympathize with the wife. In this way, they put words into the wife’s mouth which she otherwise would not have said to her husband. She goes and says this to her husband who gets shocked and angered, and here is where the weakening of the husband and wife relation starts.
So sisters, please do not relate the matters you have with your husband to other people, not even your own family or best friend. Keep other people out of your relation with your husband, sisters. Shaitaan (Satan) is always ready to attack this sacred bond. Also, make dua to Allah everyday to protect your marriage.
5. Beauty
Inner beauty is the real beauty that captures everyone’s heart. Even though it is important to take care of our outer beauty and appearances but at the same time, inner beauty must not be neglected. There is a dua for this.
“Allahumma anta hassanta khalqi fahassin khuluqi”, which translates as “O Allah, just as you have made my external features beautiful, beautify my character as well.”
6. Be flexible and not rigid in your actions.
Be considerate to other people. If any of our actions causes discomfort to another person, it is time to review it. There are some people who do not care about this, but if one wants harmony in their life, they must be ready lifelong to adjust with the changing circumstances. After all, the only thing constant in life is change.
7. Contentment.
It is very important to be content with what we have, especially when it comes to material possessions. Imagine you get the latest cell phone at the time, and with in just two or three months, a newer and revised model gets launched, then this should not upset you. If your phone is performing its duty well and has all the requirements you need, then not having the latest model, shouldn’t bother you because nothing can ever satisfy man in this life.
Without a doubt, there is always going to be something better than what we have. If we keep running after the next best thing, we are never going to be satisfied. In that case, we shall be running forever. Then when will we get the time to enjoy life, our loved ones and their company? When will we get the time to perform our religious duties and ibadah (worship)? – A question we need to ask ourselves.
Something to remember, if you are not satisfied with what you have, you will never be happy with what you get. Contentment is the real richness in life. In a hadith, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Richness is not in the quantity of possessions (that one has); rather, true richness is the richness of one’s self (or contentment). [Bukhari]
8. Don’t compare.
Never compare yourself to others – whether it be in terms of wealth, beauty or status in society. There is always going to be someone better than you. If you compare yourself to others, you are not only being ungrateful to Allah for His favours upon you but you are also lowering yourself in your eyes, which will affect your self confidence.
Allah says in the Quran, “And remember! Your Lord caused to be declared (publicly): “If ye are grateful, I will add more (favours) unto you; But if ye show ingratitude, truly My punishment is terrible indeed.” [Quran 14:7]
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Do not wish to be like anyone, except in two cases: (1) A man whom Allah has given wealth and he spends it righteously. (2) A man whom Allah has given wisdom (knowledge of the Quran and the Hadith) and he acts according to it and teaches it to others.”
9. Choose your words wisely.
Using the proper words while communicating is vital. One cannot speak to everybody at the same level. People understand what you’re saying only according to their experiences in life. For instance, we cannot use the same terms to explain a particular subject to Kindergarten students and to High School students. There is definitely going to be a difference in the two cases even though the same subject is being taught. Of course this is common sense, but it is often overlooked by many people.
Also, the same words might offend one person and please another. For instance, a woman who is less educated, probably not even High School, might feel offended if you asked her about her academic qualification. However, a woman who has done her Ph.D. would feel really good in answering your question.
So it is these minor things that we have to pay attention to in life. In short, speak to people according to their level and what interests them, to communicate effectively and win their heart.
10. Keep Practicing and You Shall Get Better
If you want to get better at something, there is no other way than to keep practicing it. Some sisters struggle at public speaking, some at art and painting, while others at cooking, crocheting or sewing, and while others still at solving problems of algebra and the like. No matter what it is, one can only get better by doing more of it and learning from one’s mistakes. Also seek advice from others. Never shy away from asking about something you want to learn. One cannot know everything and it is important to seek knowledge about what we do not know.
So, these were just some of the many life lessons that I thought would benefit my dear sisters. Please share this article if you think others would benefit from it.
Jazaakumullahu khair
A lecture on “Self Discovery” by Hamza Andreas Tzortzis
A very nice article…
True happiness comes only from the remembrance of Allah…
Information Technology University, Arfa Software Technology Park, Lahore, organized a seminar on February 7, 2014 by inviting a renowned International public speaker for anyone who is in search of few major questions of life, its reality and human existence! Self discovery is the first step for an individual to recognize him/herself as a being with an identity and a purpose of life .
The seminar was a part of the greater project, titled “Winds of Change”, an initiative by the Youth Club to help the directionless youth of Pakistan.
The lecture was delivered by Hamza Andreas Tzortzis, a convert to Islam, an international lecturer, public speaker and writer. Before beginning the lecture, Hamza clarified that he doesn’t want to give a dosage of intellectual and spiritual insulin through his talk. “All I want is to plant seeds of change,” said Hamza in his preliminary note.
He…
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Bright Muslimah 