A Suprisingly Effective Alternative to Punishment

“Is punishment always the best option to discipline a child?” the age-old question. Well, I personally do not feel it is the best option always because it leads to feelings of resentment and hatred in a child.

The article below is worth a read by Bright Muslimah moms and moms-to-be, In’sha’Allah, as it gives a lot of insight into this topic.

http://parentingbeyondpunishment.com/a-surprisingly-effective-alternative-to-punishment/

Lower Your Gaze

By Bright Muslimah    

MOdesty

Immodesty and indecency have become so widespread in today’s world that supposedly “practicing” brothers and sisters have also started falling into this trap. What was once considered shamelessness is now considered normal. Recently a pious practicing sister sought advice about whether or not she should break her engagement because her fiancé had the habit of liking the pictures and commenting on the looks of women to whom he was not a mahram. Then another sister, who was married, came complaining about how she was fed up of this very same habit of her husband.  It was only then that I realised how widespread and deep-rooted this problem was in our society.

There is a lot of shamelessness prevalent these days and social media is one of the leading causes of it. In the past, people would take pictures of themselves but would store them in their albums at home, or in their laptops or mobiles. But now they can be instantly shared on the internet using the different types of social media. But the brothers are not alone to blame for this phenomenon, the sisters are equally involved. If there were no pictures to look at it, what would men stare at? Here in lies the cause of many failing and troubled marriages.

A man who is so used to staring and looking at other women, to whom he is not a mahram, often starts comparing his wife with these women and quickly becomes dissatisfied with his wife no matter how beautiful she may be. This is because Satan (Shaitaan) always makes the haram seem more attractive than the halal. I would advise sisters not to marry such men because such habits are hard to change. At the same time, I would like to ask the sisters, would you like to be held responsible on the Day of Judgement for the breakdown of another Muslim sister’s marriage, because of something you were not supposed to do?

Sisters who share their pictures on Facebook also get addicted to doing so because they get a high each time anyone likes or comments on their pictures, whether male or female. She gets so used to this that she is not in the least bit stirred nor does she feel uneasy by all sorts of comments made by men, even though in the real world it would be considered immodest. In fact, the soul of a modest woman would actually be shaken if a non-mahram looks at her and praises her beauty, when she’d rather hear that from her husband or her mahrams.

What brothers and sisters actually don’t know is that just by liking and commenting,  they are unintentionally encouraging a sister to post more pictures of herself. In this way, each person may also get the sin of the sister who is not wearing hijab and exposing what she is supposed to be covering, as they encouraged her instead of advising her to stop. May Allah keep us safe from accumulating sins which we are unaware of. Ameen

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever initiates a good practice in Islam and is emulated by others in doing so will get the reward of it and the reward of all those who act upon it without their rewards being diminished in any respect. And whosoever initiates an evil practice in Islam and is emulated by others will bear the sin of it and the sin of all those who act on it without their burden being diminished in the least. ” [Sahih Muslim]

How strange is it that some men keep their wives and sisters hidden behind the hijab but at the same time they go around staring, commenting, etc. on the pictures of women who are strangers to them? Such men should ask themselves, would they like it if another man would do the same with their wife’s or sister’s picture? If they had gheerah, they wouldn’t tolerate such a thing. Only a man who has no gheerah (protective jealousy) would allow other men to stare at his wife, daughter, sister or mother. It is said in a hadith that a “dayooth” will not enter Jannah.

Abdullaah ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Three people will not enter paradise, and Allaah will not look to them on the Day of Judgement:  the one who is disobedient to his parents, the woman who imitates men and the ad-Dayooth.” (Ahmad) [Ad-Dayooth is the man who permits women for whom he is responsible (eg. mother, wife, sister etc.) to engage in illicit relations, or to display their beauty to strange men, thereby stimulating their sexual desires.]

Islam prohibits free mingling of men and women, but on Facebook you can see this happening all around. Young men and women giggling and exchanging jokes, brothers and sisters commenting on each other’s pictures by saying Ma’sha’Allah. Someone rightly said, that this is like saying Bismillah before eating pork. Practicing doesn’t only mean- praying salah, fasting and keeping beards or wearing the hijab- but one must also be able to control their nafs and lower their gaze from looking at forbidden things and from doing forbidden actions even when alone, because whether or not anyone is there, Allah is always watching us.

It is really beyond my comprehension why Muslim men of today think just because women are freely exposing themselves more than as compared to in the past, that they have the ticket to stare at them. Well, two wrongs never made a right, and just because someone isn’t covering their aurah, doesn’t give another person the right to stare at it. Allah first commands the men to lower their gaze, and then the women in Surah An-Noor (24), Ayahs 30 and 31 of the Quran. But sadly, it is not practiced by both. We have men comparing their wives to actresses and women comparing their husbands to actors. How can an Islamic society thrive if all such things continue to prevail?

At the same time, women who take the issue of Hijab lightly have to face their Lord one day. Covering is an obligation in Islam and not a choice as many Muslim sisters presume. The commandment of covering is mentioned in the Quran in Surah An-Noor (24), Ayah 31:

“And say to the believing women that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts and do not display their ornaments except what appears thereof, and let them wear their head-coverings over their bosoms, and not display their ornaments except to their husbands or their fathers, or the fathers of their husbands, or their sons, or the sons of their husbands, or their brothers, or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their women, or those whom their right hands possess, or the male servants not having need (of women), or the children who have not attained knowledge of what is hidden of women; and let them not strike their feet so that what they hide of their ornaments may be known; and turn to Allah all of you, O believers! so that you may be successful.” [Quran]

Hijab includes but is not excluded to covering alone. It also includes one’s conduct and interaction with the opposite gender. Unfortunately, a number of Muslim sisters cover themselves with the proper hijab, but then at the same time, they are seen laughing and joking around with brothers who are their non-mahrams. This goes totally against the concept of Hijab. Similarly, some women tightly wrap their heads in headscarves, but leave their necks uncovered, or while still others are seen in tight jeans or leggings. Wearing tight clothes in front of non-mahrams is not correct. My dear sisters, how can this be hijab when you are not concealing your figure but rather contouring it?

Please read about the hijab and its rulings and look inside your heart and find out your true intention behind wearing the hijab. If it is done to please Allah then it must be done in the way pleasing and acceptable to Allah and not deplorable to Him. I would like to leave you with some hadith to ponder upon.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are two types of the people of Hell that I have not seen yet: men with whips like the tails of cattle, with which they strike the people, and women who are clothed yet naked, walking with an enticing gait, with something on their heads that looks like the humps of camels, leaning to one side. They will never enter Paradise or even smell its fragrance, although its fragrance can be detected from such and such a distance.” (Narrated by Ahmad and by Muslim).

Also, Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Modesty brings nothing but good.” [Sahih Bukhari]

May Allah grant us the guidance to follow and implement the correct teachings of Islam in our life and keep us steadfast on the Deen. Ameen

And ye shall seek gadgets, and gadgets shall make you free.

An eye-opening article for the parents of this generation! It exposes a sad reality of the current times… Please do read…

Danish's Blog

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No, these are not the lines from any Biblical document. It’s something more sacred to our lives nowadays. Today’s saga is about technology and gadgets and how they have  taken over our lives. Some say in a good way and say otherwise, but still we have to respect the size of impact. Few months back I went to some of my relatives, in fact a cousin sister. She is happily married with a loving husband and two adorable kids. As I went to their home, I was expecting it to be an old fashion get-together with me entering the door and the kids running to hug their loving uncle, dangling all around my neck and going crazy to open the chocolates and comics I brought for them. Sadly, the scenario was not quite warm as per my perception.

Door being open, I entered the house, for a second…

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